In recent years, the use of the pronouns ‘they’ and ‘them’ has become increasingly prevalent, particularly among younger generations and within the LGBTQ+ community. While some people may be familiar with the concept, others may be left wondering what it means when someone uses these pronouns to refer to themselves. In this article, we will delve into the world of gender-neutral pronouns, exploring their significance, usage, and importance in promoting inclusivity and respect.
What are Gender-Neutral Pronouns?
Gender-neutral pronouns are words that do not associate a person with a specific gender. They are used to refer to individuals who do not identify with traditional binary gender categories, such as male or female. The most common gender-neutral pronouns are ‘they,’ ‘them,’ ‘their,’ and ‘theirs.’ These pronouns are used in place of traditional pronouns like ‘he,’ ‘him,’ ‘his,’ and ‘she,’ ‘her,’ ‘hers.’
Why are Gender-Neutral Pronouns Important?
The use of gender-neutral pronouns is essential for promoting inclusivity and respect, particularly for individuals who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, or genderfluid. These individuals may not identify with traditional binary gender categories, and using gender-neutral pronouns helps to acknowledge and respect their identity.
Using gender-neutral pronouns is not only a matter of respect but also a way to create a more inclusive environment. When we use gender-neutral pronouns, we are signaling that we value and accept individuals for who they are, regardless of their gender identity.
How to Use ‘They’ and ‘Them’ Correctly
Using ‘they’ and ‘them’ correctly can take some practice, but it’s essential to get it right. Here are some tips to help you use these pronouns correctly:
- Use ‘they’ as a singular pronoun: ‘They’ can be used as a singular pronoun to refer to one person. For example: “My friend is coming over, and they are bringing their favorite snack.”
- Use ‘them’ as an object pronoun: ‘Them’ is used as an object pronoun, meaning it is used when referring to someone who is receiving an action. For example: “I’m going to meet them at the park.”
- Use ‘their’ as a possessive pronoun: ‘Their’ is used as a possessive pronoun, meaning it is used to show ownership. For example: “Their car is red.”
Common Mistakes to Avoid
When using ‘they’ and ‘them,’ there are some common mistakes to avoid:
- Don’t use ‘they’ as a plural pronoun: While ‘they’ can be used as a plural pronoun, it’s essential to use it correctly when referring to one person. For example: “My friend is coming over, and they are bringing their favorite snack” (not “they are bringing their favorite snacks”).
- Don’t use ‘them’ as a subject pronoun: ‘Them’ should not be used as a subject pronoun. Instead, use ‘they.’ For example: “They are coming over, not “Them are coming over.”
The History of ‘They’ and ‘Them’
The use of ‘they’ and ‘them’ as gender-neutral pronouns has a long history. In the 18th century, ‘they’ was used as a singular pronoun to refer to one person. However, in the 19th century, the use of ‘they’ as a singular pronoun declined, and it was largely replaced by ‘he’ or ‘she.’
In recent years, there has been a resurgence in the use of ‘they’ and ‘them’ as gender-neutral pronouns. This is largely due to the growing awareness and acceptance of non-binary and genderqueer individuals.
The Impact of Language on Identity
Language plays a significant role in shaping our identity and how we perceive ourselves. When we use language that is inclusive and respectful, we create a more welcoming environment for individuals who may not identify with traditional binary gender categories.
Using ‘they’ and ‘them’ correctly can have a profound impact on individuals who identify as non-binary or genderqueer. It can make them feel seen, heard, and respected.
Creating a More Inclusive Environment
Creating a more inclusive environment requires effort and dedication. Here are some ways to promote inclusivity and respect:
- Use inclusive language: Using inclusive language, such as ‘they’ and ‘them,’ can help create a more welcoming environment.
- Ask for pronouns: When meeting someone new, ask for their pronouns. This shows that you respect and value their identity.
- Educate yourself: Take the time to learn about non-binary and genderqueer identities. This will help you better understand and respect individuals who identify with these labels.
Conclusion
In conclusion, using ‘they’ and ‘them’ correctly is essential for promoting inclusivity and respect. By understanding the significance and usage of these pronouns, we can create a more welcoming environment for individuals who identify as non-binary or genderqueer. Remember, language has the power to shape our identity and how we perceive ourselves. Let’s use language that is inclusive and respectful, and create a more inclusive environment for all.
Additional Resources
If you’re looking to learn more about gender-neutral pronouns and how to use them correctly, here are some additional resources:
- The Trevor Project: A organization that provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ+ youth.
- GLAAD: A organization that works to promote LGBTQ+ acceptance and inclusivity through media and advocacy.
- Non-binary Resources: A website that provides information and resources for non-binary individuals.
By using ‘they’ and ‘them’ correctly, we can promote inclusivity and respect, and create a more welcoming environment for all.
What is the purpose of using ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns?
The purpose of using ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns is to provide a more inclusive and respectful way of referring to individuals who do not identify with traditional binary pronouns such as ‘he’ and ‘him’ or ‘she’ and ‘her’. This is particularly important for people who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, or genderfluid, as it allows them to feel seen and respected in their identity.
Using ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns is also a way to promote inclusivity and respect in language, recognizing that not everyone fits into traditional binary categories. By using these pronouns, we can create a more welcoming and inclusive environment for people of all gender identities.
How do I know when to use ‘they’ and ‘them’ instead of ‘he’ or ‘she’?
You can know when to use ‘they’ and ‘them’ instead of ‘he’ or ‘she’ by asking the person how they prefer to be referred to. Many people will explicitly state their preferred pronouns, especially in social and professional settings. If you’re unsure, you can always ask politely, saying something like, “May I ask what pronouns you prefer?”
If you’re writing or speaking about someone and you’re not sure what their preferred pronouns are, it’s generally safe to use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as a default. This is because ‘they’ and ‘them’ are often used as a neutral or inclusive option, and they are less likely to cause offense than using the wrong pronouns.
Is it grammatically correct to use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as singular pronouns?
While some people may argue that using ‘they’ and ‘them’ as singular pronouns is not grammatically correct, this is a matter of debate among linguists and language experts. In fact, many style guides, including the Chicago Manual of Style and the AP Stylebook, now recognize ‘they’ and ‘them’ as acceptable singular pronouns.
In addition, using ‘they’ and ‘them’ as singular pronouns is a common practice in many languages, including English. It’s also worth noting that language is constantly evolving, and what may have been considered “incorrect” in the past may become more widely accepted over time.
How can I practice using ‘they’ and ‘them’ in my daily language?
You can practice using ‘they’ and ‘them’ in your daily language by making a conscious effort to use these pronouns when referring to people whose gender identity you’re not sure of. You can also practice using ‘they’ and ‘them’ when referring to hypothetical or generic individuals, such as “the person who will be attending the meeting” or “the student who is struggling with the assignment.”
Another way to practice is to listen to how others use ‘they’ and ‘them’ in conversation, and to follow their lead. You can also try reading books or articles that use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns, which can help you become more comfortable with the sound and feel of these words in context.
What if I accidentally use the wrong pronouns for someone?
If you accidentally use the wrong pronouns for someone, the most important thing is to apologize and correct yourself. You can say something like, “I’m so sorry, I made a mistake. You prefer [correct pronouns], right?” This shows that you’re making an effort to respect the person’s identity and that you’re willing to learn and correct your mistake.
It’s also important to remember that mistakes happen, and it’s not the end of the world if you slip up. What’s most important is that you’re making an effort to use the correct pronouns and that you’re respectful and apologetic when you make a mistake.
Can I use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns for people who are not non-binary or genderqueer?
Yes, you can use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns for people who are not non-binary or genderqueer. In fact, using ‘they’ and ‘them’ as a default pronoun can be a way to promote inclusivity and respect in language, even when referring to people whose gender identity is not non-binary or genderqueer.
Using ‘they’ and ‘them’ as a default pronoun can also help to reduce the assumption that everyone fits into traditional binary categories, and can create a more welcoming and inclusive environment for people of all gender identities.
How can I support people who use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns?
You can support people who use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns by respecting their identity and using the correct pronouns when referring to them. You can also educate yourself about the importance of using inclusive language and the impact that using the correct pronouns can have on people’s lives.
Another way to support people who use ‘they’ and ‘them’ as pronouns is to create a welcoming and inclusive environment in your community or workplace. This can involve using inclusive language in official documents and communications, providing training on inclusive language, and promoting a culture of respect and inclusivity.